Baptism

I decided to rename my pseudonym. In recent discussions, I've come to realize that the word Soon is always elusive. It is always in the future. It is never now. I want to remove the temporal condition from my name. And anyhow, I've used soon for 2 years and it is time for a blogger rebirth.

With spring in the air and my love of gardening, I've chosen "Blossom and Her Fruit". I write this about myself and the fruits I create. Calling myself Blossom makes me feel like I can have a child (or two) and even blossom again in another year and bear yet more fruit.

Now I hope that saying "Blossom and Her Fruit" in your head doesn't make you start saying it to the tune of "Benny and the Jets". I have no idea where that came from but now it is struck in my head.

I am ready to receive. I sure hope you all continue to follow along with me on my new site. The only thing changing is the pseudonym and the URL.

Come. Walk a while with me...

http://blossom-and-her-fruit.blogspot.com/

The Train Has Left The Station

So we got the call this afternoon! TOOT TOOT!!!! My progesterone is finally over the minimum 5 unlike last week. So tonight I start lupron. This is really happening. We are going to transfer back our frozen babies. I am so dang excited. I've never been so excited in this whole process.

I met with the hematologist this week who said my bloodwork looked more even this time but that she was still recommending lovenox treatment 40 units daily starting with my estrogen patches next week. This should be interesting. When I find out I'm pregnant, I am to continue doing them throughout the pregnancy.

As for my beloved buyers... they uncovered a radon issue in our house. Great, it appears that our basement rec room, where I spend every night of my life, has high radon. Sigh. So we need to get it mitigated immediately and professionally. I'd want it done and fast. I can't believe we've been living like this.

In other fun news, my fabulous neighbor decided our fence was on his property. Mind you, we bought the house with the fence already there and a plat of survey saying it wasn't on his property. I heard him out and validated his concern. I showed him the original survey 10 days ago, when he wasn't aware there was already an offer at that time. I told him I'd look into it and I did. I called the only survey company for their notes, contacted my attorney and we ordered a new survey. New one will take 3 weeks.

Well, this guy apparently got all upset when he saw the buyers at the house this weekend. Unbeknownst to us, he approached our buyers during their inspection and told them there was a fence encroachment on his property. He has no official survey to support his claim, he just thinks he knows. He could have scared away our buyers. I would have been weary of yucky neighbors. He never told us he did that even though he came and chatted with us later that day. I feel betrayed. I was doing my due diligence and he blindsided us trying to create problems. My guess is he is too cheap to pay for a survey and forgot that they are required in my area before closing on a house.

So I guess the old saying isn't true:

Now the buyers are asking for proof about the fence. Wouldn't you? I hope they aren't too aggitated and ready to drop the deal. We really are doing our best to make this painless and easy process for everyone. I am trying to remain calm and prepare for my FET and I don't need this. 24 more hours til the attorney review process ends. Can you tell I am stressed?

OK, but I do remember my good fortune. I have embryos. I have a loving husband. I bought a lovely house for my family. I am about to sell my existing home. Both homes were listed less than a week before the offers came in. I have my job, health and family. I have so much more too. I am grateful. I am very grateful. Ahhhhh I feel better. Counting your ''blessings'' really does make the world look nicer.

In the Motherhood

Sometimes my TV set even makes me depressed about my fertility status. Am I the only one who wonders if Super Nanny will be on TV long enough to make an impact on your life?

The other day, Oprah had an episode about how hard it is to be a mom. It was on my DVR. Against better judgement, I started up the show. My DVR started malfunctioning for the first time and cut out the first minutes with strange static, then the ladies came on to talk about how hard it is for them for 60 seconds, then blackout again. I was like, "Sheez, even my DVR is against me!" (Although I found out later from some of you gals that I was lucky to have missed this show.)

Remember "Notes from the Underbelly"? That show about pregnancy aired and left before I ever got a change to get in there. And now this show?

In the Motherhood is the newest show... No idea if it is any good but I am not about to watch it.

On another note, our house buyers are pushing the limits. We haven't heard from their lawyer yet and we are on day 3 of the 5 day review. Makes us nervous! Hopefully we'll hear something back today.

In One Door & Out The Other

Thank you for your prayers and wishes for a speedy house sale. After weeks of utter craziness, we listed our house last week. The couple that visited the house last Friday did, in fact, make an offer. After some back and forth, we finally signed the contract this morning!

We are thrilled to know that our house is officially under contract. In 5 business days, it will be out of attorney review and we'll be heading for closing.

The buyers have agreed to close a week after we close on our new house. That leaves us time to make a few fixes and move right in. Mostly and best of all, once this attorney review is over, the stress will dissipate and I'll be able to focus in on our frozen transfer that is coming up. I need to find peace again. This was 4 crazy weeks for me.

Yesterday, we did a progesterone check. Since my cycle likes to run longer recently, it appears my bloodwork said I wasn't ready to start lupron. So I'll bet that this time next week we'll be starting injections and gearing up for the most fabulous time of our life! Transfer. God, I love transfers. Babies, come home to me!

I also turned 36 this week and realized that I did not transfer back one single embryo my entire 35 year! So go 36! This is my time. I just feel it. I am ever closer to kissing my child's little forehead.

Lastly, Dr. Schoolie called this week and we decided we'd actually thaw all our embies and zygotes and transfer the 4 best. We hope we have 4 lovely day 3 embies to transfer.

I am putting it out in the universe and to God that:

Children,

We are ready for you
when you are ready for us.
We welcome you home.

We have found your first home
and will make special space for you there.

We can't wait to see you
and hope you feel ready to come home to us now.

We love you,
Mom and Dad

Location! Location! Location!

Boy oh boy! I am pooped. I feel like I haven't sat down to relax in ages! Two weeks ago we put and offer on a house and it was accepted. After the 5 day attorney review period, we finally accepted that we were 99% sure we'll be moving into this new house!! Special One said he'd be sad to leave the house our marriage started in but happy to go to the ones our children will come home to. I thought that was so sweet.

The last 9 days, we've been trying to pack up, declutter, repaint, and make all the minor changes you have to make in order to sell. Our super friendly cat had to move to Grandma's until for a few weeks since he would likely leave with the people and jump into their car and snuggle.

I haven't been this tired ever! We just had our first showing. I ran cat 2 to the vet for a glucose test but when I returned, the people were just arriving. So I camped out down the street with the kitty and read my mail. Bad idea. I was just analyzing how long they were in the house and what they were doing. 35 minutes. Is that good or bad?

When they left, I slipped in and let the cat free. They'd eaten all the cookies I'd baked and I had seen them walk the yard a few times. Sigh. I can't do this for a long time so this young couple (with dreams of babies in their heads most likely) should make an offer, right? So can you all pray that my house sells quick with a closing time of July 1? Hee hee. Oh yeah, and a good price.

Here's a glimpse of what we are leaving behind (besides memories of PIO shots and sharps containers). We've stripped a lot of personal decor in our attempts to declutter.

The upside is that the days until my FET has flown by. I am getting ever closer. Probably starting lupron next week. Yippee!!!

Ready Set Go!

I am so pleased to announce that my cycle started on 3/27 and C C R M issued me a Frozen Embyro Transfer calendar! WOO HOO! We are tentatively set for a May 12th transfer and we could not be happier. We will be skipping the BCPs and on day 21 starting lupron if my progesterone is in range. Needless to say, that just raised the stakes a lot.

I haven't had any embryos transferred to me in over a year. My last transfer was January 2008. I can't wait to be reunited with my babies but it also makes things so scary. I've been working hard towards this for 14 months and now I could fail... or I could succeed. Is that possible?

Special One and I have been looking for a new house since we starting assisted reproduction. We've found places we've liked but missed out on, we've submitted 6 bids in all, and finally 2 Saturday's ago we found a house we loved. We visited twice and bid on it on Sunday. By Monday we were told there where 5 bidders on the house. Yes, 5! In this market, that is stupendous. Well, long story short... We won the bid!!! I've always felt in my belly that we'd find our house when we were going to have a baby. So it really makes me wonder... could this be the sign?

So this past week has been a whirlwind of working, home inspections, attorney reviews, meeting with lenders, and trying to prep our house for sale! Just plain madness. We haven't sold our place or even listed yet. But we hope to list early next week. In the meantime, we lucked out that our sellers wanted 3 months til closing so we hope we'll luck out in that time period. Looks like the market has picked up.

I apologize for being behind in cheering you all on. For once, I've had some good news to keep me really busy. I'll be checking in on you all this week, I promise. Lorza and Fashionably, thanks for checking in on me.

Damn it feels good to post a happy post.

Stormy Butterflies

Thanks for all of the FET feedback. I've gathered all the advice since a few others said they'd be interested in the results. I am so glad to hear that it is easier than an IVF cycle.

eating pineapple drinking grape juice eating turkey taking baby aspirin taking fish oils drinking green tea

acupuncture and more acupuncture avoiding caffeine avoiding alcohol BD the night before Brisk walk right before transfer Heating lower abdomen daily to break down endo/fibroids

The RE said I'd be taking birth control as part of the protocol but I am scared of birth control pills. Last time I took them for an IVF cycle, my TSH soared to 19! (Normal is 1-3, essentially). I was also taking 'herbs' then and I can't be sure which did it but i've refused to take herbs or BCPs since. It took 3 months to control my thyroid and obviously my IVF cycle was cancelled that month.

I asked my thyroid endocrinologist and he said to follow the recommendations of my clinic if I wanted to get pregnant but i am so scared. The thyroid gland is butterfly shaped but doesn't offer me the same joy as watching the insect variety flutter through the early summer air in my garden. On another side note, I can't believe how estranged I am from my own body. The connection is broken. Sometimes the idea of being intimate makes me want to run away since I don't want to have to listen and feel my body.

I could really use some guidance. If you'd had this issue, do you think I should:

• Take 2 months of bcps so i have time to check my body's response and adjust thyroid meds if necessary? Or will that 'oversuppress'.
• Take the bcps as the generic protocol calls for and check blood levels after 3 weeks and cancel if I have a storm?
• Skip BCPs and risk a hormone surge of LH or whatever screws a frozen cycle?